Wednesday, July 31, 2013

e9: Editing Our Writing

I was really proud of my writing lesson today!  I hope I made lots of connections with "What you do, when you review?" I modeled scrupulously what I would do to re-craft one paragraph. It was amazing when we re-read the edited paragraph and I asked "What's the overall feeling of this paragraph?" I heard Baily utter to someone next to him "He's so cute..." It was such the perfect 'teachable moment' about how sentences within paragraphs all work together to create a mental image about the author's idea.  So we added "He is so cute" to end off the paragraph.




As he wakes up his eyes go all wide and he says my dad went uhn uhn bye bye, then he crawls to his mum because his bed is connected to my auntie and uncle.

As my cousin wakes up, his eyes go all wide and he mumbles/squeals/babbles, “my Dad went uhn uhn bye bye”.  , tThen, he crawls scurries to his mum because his bed is connected to my Aaunty and Uuncle’s. He is so cute.

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